Publications on January 2010: I got 2 new rejections and 1 acceptance.
When I got the acceptance, I wanted to believe it will be a change of trend and I will get more papers accepted. However, didn’t want to celebrate too fast, as I knew two more feedbacks should be coming this month. Today those feedbacks are here and showed me still I am not in the correct track.
Right now I admit I am NOT in a good mood and I am tired of this. — What I am doing?. I love what I do and I doing my best, which it seems it is not enough. I wish to know how to improve this.
Then, in 2010 I am changing my writing strategy according to the feedbacks gather in all 2009 and the resources that I have. I hope it works to advance on this. But, let’s see.
Since I first read the notice of the earthquake, I had been following closely. Maybe this time I identify a bit more as I lived the earthquake of Mexico ’85 on a fifth floor of a building.
My impotence and anger increases, not only for the wish to be helpful now, but because this is the result of SELFISHNESS and NEGLIGENCE, driven by POWER, CORRUPTION and CONSUMPTION. And, from my perspective, ALL of us are GUILTY.
The first simple common sense idea to support my claims is: aren’t we able to produce quality in our constructions? The shaking of the earth is not the problem, the problem is the low quality constructions of shelters, or the lack of proper maintenance. We know it – Governments listen: stealing the money or safe money of quality shelters has a high price.
Wondering….
….Wondering why people use the common resources no for the quality and improvement of the community, instead to seek cheap and fast solutions?
(I might assume that the “next” elections might have an answer)
…. Wondering why do we keep on supporting no-sustainable solutions? Example of this is the over populated cities instead to promote quality of life in harmonize medium and small communities.
(I might assume that macro-economy might have an answer)
…. Wondering why do we have to consume what we do not need? Do we need 20 pairs of ‘cheaper’ shoes made of plastic that makes them disposable and promote consumption using our no removable natural resources, or we need two pairs of quality shoes which even might last longer with local removable resources.
All our scope of “needs” can go through the same reflection: do we need to eat meat daily? Can you cultivate our own salad?
A growing list of painful questions increases in my head and in my heart daily. And with tragic human events that could be avoid, the query process increases exponentially… why? why? why? 🙁 .
With Haiti I just confirm: our self-generated destruction process is growing faster than we are even aware of it. This involves all of us and it will affect all of us.
Less quantity, more quality and beyond this more self-responsibility. Most of today’s catastrophes, of the human race and of our planet, are the result of our socio-economical-system that we created and it is destroying us.
More will come related to this topic, because the dead of thousands of people from the last natural disasters (or even millions if we start to add) cannot be only a piece of consuming sensationalist news. We should reflect seriously about this and beyond that take action to change the trend.
I can’t write more about this at this moment, I must finalize my commitment with my thesis first. Be my best and give my best effort is the primary way to contribute for a change
Three main points create me conflict and/or impotence:
1) Digital technology is a powerful and fragile tool.
One of the reasons why I see it powerful is because it can connect ideas, reflections, experiences, without physical boundaries. One reason why I think it is fragile is because without infrastructure (besides accessibility and know how) is useless.
A pencil or even a crayon is less fragile than a mobile phone. For example it can survive better natural disasters than a whole wireless or electricity network require for a mobile phone to work. Things to think about….
2) We see only what we want to see, and what media allows us to see.
In the transition from Sept to October 2009, millions of lives have been changed due to natural disasters just in Asia alone. My records only have the following events:
Earthquake: 30 Sept and 1 Oct – Earthquake Sumatra Padang. This one shocks me specially after I lived the earthquake of Mexico 1985, Yes, I have a trauma about it, but one can’t forget these type of events. This video of the land-sliding from the earthquake in Padang just freezes me, wondering if deforestation played a role.
Typhoons: Late Sept. Ketsana hit specially the Philippines, Vietnam and Cambodia. Even countries with “strong” infrastructure are being affected as Japan with another typhoon.
Those are only few tragedies, no idea how many are present. And yes I know natural disasters are always present, I shouldn’t get that surprise someone could say.
But what makes me wonder today is the press (at least the one that I usually read) hardly cover these events. Those sources of information are focusing in other matters as politics and fraud. Hmmmm…. if I remember well in December 2004, with the Tsunami where citizens of several western countries were victims, the same press I read had bigger coverage about this. I do not want to speculate, but…
… from what we are “allow” to see, we only see what we can see and want to see.
3) We have information about climate change through digital and not digital formats. But how many of this information indicates how to change our behaviors to diminish this.
Wondering who generates most of the CO2? who are the ones who demand more raw material to produce “x”? Who are the ones who flight? who are the ones who waste heater and air conditioner in their houses? Who consumes most of the meat produced overseas? Who are the ones who use driers? who uses a car only for one person? how many products wrap with layers of plastic do we buy?, who produces most of the e-Waste? ….
Each one of our actions are like a grain of sand. One grain might look insignificant, but all together form wonderful beaches. The same happened with disasters.
Even that I am a privilege person and have access to quality of information about how to be a better human for my planet, and I want to help and do things right. My trace of CO2 surely supports the actual disasters in Asia, and other countries….. I declare myself guilty 🙁
No related to environment, but related with lack of understanding to take proper action. This year I have 8 papers rejected in a row. I appreciate the referees’ feedback as they had stressed that focus is my main problem. I knew it, but I can’t fix it yet. Should I declare myself guilty too?
*** All these makes me think….
It is not enough to get the information on how to improve something. It needs to be adapted to the reality of the listener, to support as much as possible the understanding of such information. Learners are smart, and if it is close to their ZPD they will do fine and get into proper action.
But how can I change/improve “X” if the information that I seemed to understand is not linked to my reality?, less to the ZPD. The clearer this information is adapted to my reality, the possibility increases to get close to my ZPD, and then move in some direction instead to follow an inertia.
It is not matter that others do my job or live my life, or lecture me about something. I want to understand how to improve and do things. I would imagine this happens with all the topics, and with all the persons.
*** Do not give up….
If I succeed with myself one day, I am optimistic that maybe I could support others to success by themselves afterward.
My research, baptized as Hypercontextualized Game, seeks to create awareness in-site about specific subject matter. It is paradoxical, right? I want to be an expert of my weakest side.
======
Then, my conflict makes me feel helpless when I know with my mind and my heart that something must be done. I kind of figure it out a proposal to take action to solve something, but I can’t succeed to make my message clear neither match my actions with my intentions.
My conflict makes me feel helpless when I see how humans are working constantly to make of our planet a mess. I do not understand humans and I do not want to do the same, but at the end I am one of them doing the same 🙁
This week I declare myself officially in my PhD crisis. I heard all PhD students have one crisis, and the naive of myself I thought I will be immune to it. Wrong again!. Now I am in my crisis.
Trigger crisis-factor: lack of focus
History: Since early 2006 I had listen: “you need to focus”. But to listen does not mean I understand the impact of the message, because to listen advices does not mean one is at the level to understand them or decode them. However this week the message “hits” me strongly, and today I know and I feel:
I need to let go all my burdens (actually this is the HARDEST part of all)
I need to do one step at the time
I will never ever going to know it all.
It sounds simple, but those three points imply much for me not only for research, also for my persona.
The collapse is to realize, or to think that after so much effort my research as a doodle (see figure below). In addition to feel a personal responsibility to do not disappoint the persons who had trust on me, then I put myself in a worse mess. I am a believer that things will come out fine. I am a fighter, but puff!!! PhD crisis are not my cup of tee.
Even in the middle of my personal twister, I want to express loudly I am blessed for my team: Mikko and Teemu. Very special persons and I appreciate they have patience towards me in my excess of crazy and fuzzy ideas as now in my PhD crisis.
