Category Archives: personal

end of the year: crisis

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It seems the end of the year, of any year, it stresses hardly my constant question: “what am I doing?”

Learn to think is for sure no a simple thing to do. Even if for some is really enjoyable easy it is not. It is as challenging as to learn to live. Well we could start from the starting point, out from the academia, if we know what do we want?. To answer and sort out all these things is a complete art, at least for some of us (I am in this group). In other cases it seems it comes straightforward, but no so sure about that anyway.

However, coming back to the finality of the existence of this blog that is my PhD. The harder challenge that I am presenting right now, is to have discipline and be efficient. Of course with those qualifications I would be able to make things happen with quality (I would imagine). Thing I am not reaching right now. I really admire the ones that are at front of me in this path, specially the great people of my research group.

If I am allow myself to write some of my commitments and/or whishes of this new years into this career, the list will start with create the habits of discipline and efficiency in my activities. And follow by it, will be start writing. Something really stops me there. Even with the never finish official proposal of my research ;-( that is really sad!!! ;-(. Well, I know my research structure is still weak and I need to know a lot more than what I know at this point and doing my work on that, focusing, even if it doesn’t look so clear.

And I know I need to keep on reading, but writing as in traditional homework helps to reflect your own thoughts. Plus I have the luck to have great advices in this matter as the ones of Justus , Matti and Roman . I know that process is not easy at all at least for me, but it doesn’t help me to be afraid of it and avoid it. I am here to go for the whole, then learn from the best and go for it.

And one big truth is time goes quite fast and it doesn’t come back. The balance between deepness, wideness, flexibility, focus and solid fundaments it is just not an easy thing to reach. Maybe that is why several times I have been asked if I was sure to commit myself in this. And actually, now I understand that this commitment is just with myself. And in a way it is in combination to be able to enjoy the ride as well of course. Yeap, research needs a passion, sometimes impulse you, others freeze you, you can hate it or love it, but it is always present even if sometimes it is in different forms.

I guess, I am really in the crisis of the end of the year at this point.

bookmarks

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While digitalizing some videos, which sometimes contain really slow parts, then I have to do something in parallel, something that still lets my attention on the digitalization. Then I am fixing my browser’s bookmarks.

Jeees!

Let me tell you how it works. I have my normal classification folders, which are mostly ok. BUT it exists one folder call new, that means when I am in a hurry to shut down my machine, and I can’t decide if I should keep that link or not, or if I keep it where should go?. For these cases is the section of “NEW” is a TEMPORAL folder for further decision, as a buffer.

But in 5 years more less (according to the historical records on that buffer) I haven’t really classify anything. OH GOD! That is a work, a complete personal digital archeology (which of course is not finished). However, it has been interesting to observe my different search focuses on diverse periods of time. And some links I am happy to find 😉

This work is still in process, but how much trash a human being can collect in its life span, or at least me even that I try to do not collect that much, I fail on that quiet often. And now a days not only physically also digitally!

war games…

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After a really good conversation on Friday with Justus , I am re-calibrating myself…

However, today I felt myself a dreamer stock in any kind of fantasyland on my own research, because between trying to catch up with all these topics on culture, intercultural, cross-cultural issues, social sciences, games studies, etc. And then, while having a fast view to the political games, of course they are already some about the actual war events, let me this feeling.

Maybe I am asking for much, or it might be so challenging to do, or not be able to sell,no idea, but for example, it wouldn’t be interesting to see a game that could explain us the roots of the problem (while playing of course), or even if in one of those magical “simulation” games (that sometimes people talks about), could find ways to figure it out how to resolve the problem. Perhaps it needs a lot of more strategic involved, IF someone really know what is going on?.

complex systems

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While trying to create a couple of  game  workshops for the following fall, one for kids and the other one for seniors’ club. Looking for quality in them and a nice product at the end supported with what it has been read until now, meaning looking for a framework, etc. Surprisingly, the bigger challenge right now it is into the kids design versus the seniors.

Strange, at first point of view, for myself, mainly because I have several years of experience working with little ones (2-10 years old) quiet smoothly. But then I realized in here I am thinking on 12+, which means: teenagers! and the story changes with this fact 😉 that is a tricky one!.

Because when thinking of them, they present an ocean of possibilities for themselves and for the world itself, but how to stimulate properly their “virgin” creativity, to trigger the motion that allows them to move by themselves in an enjoyable way, that is already a challenge itself. Now, focusing on my topic of games, they are already “playing” digital games, and they are merged into this Information Society, as some authors call it, maybe since they had born, at least some of this modern kids, which implies they have higher expectations into the topic already. On the other hand there are some no-IT-knowledge that should be impulse as well. Plus their skills are developing, which implies be careful with their ZPD is key. This list can continue with SEVERAL points.

In here, one quote of Mihaly Csikszentimihalyi enclose all this quiet well: “The more complex any system, the more room it leaves open for alternatives, and the more things can go wrong with it.

This can apply for EVERYTHING. In this case, he correlates it with the evolution of the mind: “as it has increased its power to handle information, the potential for inner conflict has increased as well. When there are too many demands, options, challenges, we become anxious; when too few, we get bored”.

And believed it or not, for those who have teenagers, or are close with teenagers, might agree with me that they are really  explosive  complex systems to work with. Oh well!!!, part of the challenge 😉 and looking for a successful output of this game.

Simple is beautiful, a gold rule. But how to get the proper merge or balance of this simplicity embedded into this complexity, that is one of my constant questions.

reading and writing.

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On April 17th, I mentioned that some of my priorities into my “to do”  list are reading and improved my writing skills. However after exactly 2 months from that post I came to be aware of some obvious things, which actually I should have learned since elementary school:
– create a senseful strategy for reading, (into wide and deepness)
– understand what the author wants to say
– think and digest this information / knowledge,
– think again before writing,
– write thoughtful (and remember simple + short, it is beautiful!!!).

In addition, to develop our own thinking is challenging. As any other Art, I would attempt to say, because it requires discipline and to be constant in its practice. All these is harder than what I thought! Or it seems in the hurry to discover the world and its possibilities, or to survive in it, I had really forgotten some of the valuable basics.

On the other hand, I am quiet surprised to realized this too. Because being someone that had spent so many years in a diversity of educational systems, and that enjoys to learn, it has taking me over two decades to get at this point, which might only mean I am a good survivor into school systems (no sure if my ex-teachers would like to hear this). Or as any human being, we have different stages, plus there are so many things to learn and digest in our life, besides school, that we are only able to really understand any subject when we are ready for that (as in a ZPD ). In the mid time keep on being open and practice your skills. As in any game, be ready for your next turn.